A Fervent Christmas Wish
Chickening Out in 1992
I wish I could finally play the damn guitar.
I’ve plonked away at it for 60 years now. You’d think I’d have thrown my hands up in the air long ago and walked away from the infernal thing in anguished resignation, but no.
I kept plugging and plonking away. Not that I didn’t try to up my game. After sawing away in cover bands for decades, I finally came to the realization that I had absolutely no idea why I was playing the notes I was playing, so in my thirties, I decided to remedy that and take guitar lessons again.
I wound up studying jazz and classical guitar for eight or nine years, learning the rudiments of music theory and harmony, embarrassing myself waiting for my slot at studio recitals as eight- and nine-year-old kids my instructor was also teaching scratched their way through punishing attempts at “Red River Valley” in studio recitals.
I finally got enough chops together to attempt classically-arranged solo Christmas tunes on my Fender F-35 acoustic guitar. My instructor, Cheryl Fitiak, a truly accomplished player, recommended a book called “Christmas Guitar.” When I could get through a few of the pieces without stopping, I worked like a dog rehearsing them for a year or more, hoping to improve them and give them some polish. I wanted to play a set of them out somewhere, so I put together a demo tape in 1992.
No one outside of my family and a few friends heard that recording. But for Christmas this year, I’ve worked up the nerve to put the whole intended set out there:
I’m not proud of the sonic nature of the recording, but I love the arrangements. I laid these tracks down in one fell swoop while my family was out Christmas shopping, to spare them the indignity of suffering through my infernal guitar scratchings.
I set up our Sony 8mm video camera on a tripod and let it rip, so the audio is all off the camera’s tinny onboard shotgun mic. Why I did it this way, I’ll never fathom. I recall switching up the camera angle between tunes to avoid having one static shot in the finished video. When I was done, I decided the audio track was the only thing worth salvaging, so I transferred it to a CD, tape noise and all.
My initial intent was to play this set at area nursing homes over the holidays. No charge, if they would have me.
Instead, I chickened out.
Playing in a band is one thing. At least in a band, when you hit a bad note, you can fake a smile (as if you’re enjoying playing) and whack around your Stratocaster’s whammy bar until the sour note bends to something approximating the note you intended. Hanging out there solo on an acoustic guitar is quite another no-pants-in-public nightmare experience.
So my Christmas wish? Get the gumption to re-visit this whole endeavor. Start from scratch (having played next to nothing for years), see if I can learn to work these tunes up again, and hopefully bring them up to at least the level you hear on these links. Maybe perform them for folks who need a little Christmas cheer, even if my playing is raggedy around the edges.
Will that ever happen?
Well, I reckon only Santa knows.
;-)
